


Pre-Adoption Jitters

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: "Writer For Hire" -  Marvel Oneshots [13]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Wolverine and the X-Men (Comics)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4121970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adopting Evan would go a lot smoother if Wade didn't keep trying to back out every twenty minutes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pre-Adoption Jitters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dansnotavampire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dansnotavampire/gifts).



> frerardobsessed said "can we have an au where Peter & Wade are adopting a kid and Wade's really panicky and nervous and Peter keeps having to calm him down"
> 
> Okay, so you can either read this as a non-powered au, or a canon divergent where they don't mention that they're superheros. If you want to read this as non-powered, either they're both cops or Peter's a scientist and Wade's a fireman.

Peter rubbed the back of his head. “Wade-”  
Wade shook his head, which was childishly covered with a pillow. “No. I’ve changed my mind. We can’t do this.”  
Peter groaned. “You can’t change your mind now. It’s happening _tomorrow._ ”  
“Well I have!” He moved the pillow away from his face to turn pleading eyes on Peter. “I can’t do this.”  
Peter sighed and sat next to him on the couch. “Yes you can.”  
“Can not.”  
“Can too.”  
“Can not.”  
“Can too- Look, I’m not getting into this again.”  
“I’d be a horrible father,” Wade said softly.  
Peter reached over and ran a hand over the scars on the back of Wade’s head. “You’re going to be great.”  
“I can’t provide stability,” Wade protested. “What if he needs me and I’m not there?”  
“That’s what I’m for.”  
“And if you’re out?”  
“Then there’s Aunt May, Tony, Cap, Logan, Mary-Jane, Harry-”  
“And if _they’re_ unavailable?”  
“There’s always the internet.”  
“What if we’re not there and something happens?”  
“He’s ten. He can manage a bit of independence. He can call us. Or anyone.” Considering the riskiness of their jobs, and their odd hours, they had decided to adopt a kid rather than a baby.  
Wade made a small sound. “And what if we get hurt? Do you really want to bring him into our home only to be ditched again?”  
Peter groaned again. They’d had this conversation. Repeatedly.  
“Wade-”  
“And what if he’s creepy? You’ve seen Supernatural.”  
Peter rolled his eyes. “You asked Evan that already, remember? And besides, you _like_ Evan.”  
Wade made a noise. “What if he was lying?”  
Peter pinched him. “Did he seem creepy?”  
Wade shook his head reluctantly. “He was cute. But what if-”  
“We’ve already been audited,” Peter pointed out. “They talked to us, cross-examined us, did _everything_ and they think we’re okay. _The government_ thinks we’ll be good parents.”  
“I-”  
“Wade, we wanted this. We _want_ this.”  
“Who’s going to teach him about feminine stuff?”  
“Wade, he’s a boy.”  
“What if he’s trans?”  
“Wade you own more dresses than you do pants, I’m sure you can help him with-”  
“What if he’s,” Wade gasped, “ _heterosexual?_ Who will teach him about girls?”  
“Wade, you’re pan.”  
“It’s been too long,” Wade lamented. “I barely remember what boobies feel like.”  
Peter groaned.  
“Or, how about this,” Wade continued, “What if he’s homophobic?”  
“ _We’ve met him. He loves us. He’s not homophobic.”_ Peter was beginning to get pissed off.  
Wade groaned. “Maybe it’s a lie. He could be a talented liar. It could be some sort of scam. Innocent gay couples adopting, then the homophobic kid tries to ruin the marriage from within.”  
Peter glared at him.  
“Oh!” Wade said. “Okay, how about this? What if they’re right?”  
“Who’s right?” Peter asked in an annoyed tone.  
“Homophobes. What if they’re right and we _can’t_ raise a kid in a normal-”  
“Wade, shut up.”  
There was a silence.  
Finally Wade whimpered. “What if we screw up?”  
“Wade.” He took Wade’s hand. “Listen, there are going to be problems. Of course there are. But I want a child. You want a child. We’re _having_ a child. He’s going to be here tomorrow. That’s what’s happening, okay?”  
Wade squeezed Peter’s hand. “Okay.” He didn’t sound like he meant it.  
Peter kissed his forehead. “Bed. We have a big day tomorrow.”  
Wade nodded, and let Peter pull him into the bedroom, silent the entire time.  
  
XXX  
  
The alarm went off.  
Peter made a noise of protest, sitting up and slamming the alarm off.  
He ran a hand through his hair, excitement blooming in his stomach. Today was the day.  
He was nervous, of course. He was _getting a child._ Today everything changed, they went from a cute married couple to an adorable family. A _family._  
It wasn’t as if he didn’t have doubts and worries of his own. He had them. A lot of them. But he also had hope, and great people around to support him, and he _knew_ Wade was going to be a great father, no matter how he complained. Wade was great with kids.  
Speaking of Wade..  
“Wade,” Peter said, turning over and shaking his husband.  
“Mmm?”  
“Get up.”  
“Weekend, Peter baby.”  
“We have to-”  
“Sex?” Wade lifted his head. “Well, I guess I _could_ cut into my precious sleeptime.”  
Peter glared at him. “Collect Evan.”  
The fire in Wade’s eyes died. “Oh,” he said. “Right.” He looked down.  
  
XXX  
  
Peter wandered into the kitchen, freshly washed and dressed.  
“You ready?” he asked Wade, who had opted out of showering.  
“I think I’ll stay here,” Wade replied in a small voice. He waved his hand around. “Get the place cleaned up.”  
The apartment was already spotless.  
“Sure,” Peter said, biting back a bit of anger. He walked out without breakfast, and an hour before he had planned to.  
  
XXX  
  
Evan followed him to their door silently.  
Peter gave him a soft smile. He knew Evan had been surprised that Wade hadn’t turned up. Peter had chirped out Wade’s lie about ‘cleaning up the place’, but Evan hadn’t looked assured.  
“Welcome to your new home,” Peter told him as he opened the door.  
The two of them froze as the door swung open.  
“Surprise!” Wade cheered.  
The room had been redone in Peter’s absence. Streamers, balloons and a banner reading “Welcome Home!”  
Peter grinned as Wade stepped forward to kiss him lightly, and run a hand through Evan’s hair. Evan beamed back shyly.  
“I made brownies,” Wade told them.  
Peter shook his head as they followed Wade into the kitchen.  
“Wade,” Peter whispered to him as Evan took a brownie. “How did you even-”  
Wade grinned and wrapped an arm around Peter to pull him closer. “I figure you were right.”  
“I normally am,” Peter said dryly.  
“I’m going to be a great father.”  
“That’s what I said.”  
“And I should start this off by making sure that I’m the _better_ parent.”  
“...what?”  
“I’m buying his love with sweets, Petey baby.”  
“…You did this for brownie points, is what you’re saying?”  
Wade nodded sagely. “Really let your guard down there, baby boy. Let me have the home field and everything.” He paused. “That’s something people say, right?”  
Peter stepped away and looked him up and down. “Of course, you realise this means war?”  
Wade kissed his nose. “I look forward to it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Evan is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. 
> 
> As always, I'm accepting prompts in the comments and on my [tumblr](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/), though I have 14 prompts already and at the one-a-day pace I seem to be going...it'll take about two weeks before I get to any new ones.


End file.
